EMOTIONAL WOUND THESAURUS

THE DEATH OF ONE'S CHILD



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Emotional wounds will steer a character's behavior, corrupt his worldview, and cause negative traits to form. To understand exactly how this occurs, please read our tutorial for the Wound Thesaurus.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect.
NOTES:
Though a son or daughter’s death can take many forms, one factor that can greatly affect resulting outcomes is whether or not the parent was responsible. When a child dies and there was nothing the parent could do, they’ll still often blame themselves to a certain degree. The depth of this wound (and therefore the fallout from avoiding dealing with it in a healthy way) will depend on how keenly the parent feels responsible for their child's death. To explore this kind of wound further, this entry will focus on the death of a child for which the parent was technically not responsible. (For information on a wounding event where the person in charge of the child was even accidentally or incidentally to blame, see A CHILD DYING ON ONE’S WATCH). Scenarios might include the child dying...

EXAMPLES:
From a terminal illness
In a car accident
In a natural disaster
From a freak accident during a sporting event (getting hit in the chest with a baseball, suffering a fatal head injury, etc.)
Due to an undiagnosed condition (a serious allergy, bleeding out due to hemophilia, etc.)
From being hit by a car while walking home from the bus stop
While lost in a natural environment
From a dangerous activity one had forbidden them to do (e.g., climbing on the roof)
While taking part in a foolish dare or dangerous game
Of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
In utero, during birth, or shortly thereafter

WOUND CATEGORY:
Traumatic Events, Abandonment

BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND:
love and belonging, safety and security, self-actualization

LIES THAT MAY DEVELOP FOR CHARACTERS WITH THIS WOUND:
They can’t keep their loved ones safe
They're to blame for their child’s death (even when they weren't responsible)
They don’t deserve forgiveness
God did this to punish them (for whatever imagined or irrational transgression creates guilt)
If they're not a mother (or father),they're nothing
Danger is everywhere; they have to be prepared or they’ll lose someone else
Letting others care for their child is reckless
Nothing is worth risking the pain of loss again

THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR:
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POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS:
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POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES THAT MAY RESULT:
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NEGATIVE TRAITS THAT MAY RESULT:
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TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND:
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STEPS TOWARD HEALING:
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OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND:
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