EMOTIONAL WOUND THESAURUS

BEING RAISED BY PARENTS WHO LOVED CONDITIONALLY



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Emotional wounds will steer a character's behavior, corrupt his worldview, and cause negative traits to form. To understand exactly how this occurs, please read our tutorial for the Wound Thesaurus.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect.
NOTES:
Conditional love is a love that has certain conditions placed upon it. Parents who loved conditionally may have only shown affection and acceptance to their child under circumstances such as the following:

EXAMPLES:
If one got good grades
As long as one’s actions met approval
When one behaved as expected
When one gained accolades and awards for performances
As long as one kept everything organized and clean
If one fit the mold provided
If one did as one was told
When choices and decisions aligned with parental wishes
When one’s physical appearance and bearing met a parent’s high standards
As long as family always came first
Provided one didn’t cause embarrassment
When one had control over one’s emotions
When one showed the correct level of respect and appreciation

WOUND CATEGORY:
Misplaced Trust and Betrayals, Specific Childhood Wounds

BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND:
love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

LIES THAT MAY DEVELOP FOR CHARACTERS WITH THIS WOUND:
I am only worthy when I achieve great things.
I can earn love by being obedient.
Disappointment means failure.
I must have absolute control of my emotions and impulses.
Trying doesn’t matter; winning does.
I will be whatever I am expected to be.
Others know what is best for me.
Pushing someone to be the best is how you show love.
Pretending is better than disappointing people with the truth.
The only way to be loved is by giving something first.
Love is a tool used to get what you want.

THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR:
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POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS:
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POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES THAT MAY RESULT:
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NEGATIVE TRAITS THAT MAY RESULT:
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TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND:
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STEPS TOWARD HEALING:
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OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND:
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